i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize