smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize