my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
