She just used a chaser for red wine.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
