when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
