We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
