He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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