Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
