she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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