my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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