You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
