is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Houston, we have a squirter
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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