You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
