Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Randomize
