That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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