even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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