Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
