your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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