I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize