Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was born a porn star she said
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
