No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Randomize
