how hairy? two words: wookie tits
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
