Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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