i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
