Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
