Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
