The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
