my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize