guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
