haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
