bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
