I'm lost and stupid without you.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
ttyl tear gas
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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