I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Randomize
