We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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