you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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