escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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