Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
