JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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