I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
