You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
