The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
