porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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