dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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