Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Randomize
