did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
