Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
