You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
