Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize