I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
