Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
