I never want to see another naked old woman again.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
