i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
