We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
