HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
