we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
