I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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