is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you would pick up someone in the library
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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