I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
