I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
