Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
