How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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