Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
