my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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