Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
