my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
