It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize