Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
