we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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