the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
